Paul Klee, “Accident” (1939), paste and oil on paper on card, 68 x 39,5 cm (private Swiss owner)
The Pears Institute for the Study of Domestic Violence Against Men and Other Forms of Racism Will Open its Doors in January
Birkbeck, University of London, and the Pears Foundation have announced that a new research institute will open its doors at Birkbeck in January: The Pears Institute for the Study of Domestic Violence Against Men and Other Forms of Racism. At a press conference on Tuesday, the founding director, Professor Daniel Mansfeld, explained the rationale behind this exciting new project.
“It is simply a travesty that alleged domestic violence against women has been weaponized to distract from the real problem”.
Professor Mansfeld is a globally renowned expert in the field. He first drew widespread attention when he presented his distinct and highly original methodological approach which has since been firmly established in relevant disciplines as New Selectivist Counterfactual Intuiting. It allowed him to dispel the myth that domestic violence against women is a widespread problem. “It is simply a travesty”, Professor Mansfeld explained on Tuesday, “that alleged domestic violence against women has been weaponized to distract from the real problem”.
“I can vouch for the fact that no man would ever think of being forceful with a woman if she just did as she was told”.
In fact, Mansfeld explained, the very concept of domestic violence against women was inherently untenable and one could only marvel at the reasons those who propagated it might have for doing so. To be sure, on rare occasions, men went a little far, but if women stopped being so bloody annoying, what some people would have us think of as domestic violence against women would disappear at a stroke. “As a man”, Mansfeld explained, “I can vouch for the fact that no man would ever think of being forceful with a woman if she just did as she was told”. He was keen to emphasize that this held particularly true for countries in which wife beating was publicly propagated as a necessary and legitimate means of keeping one’s wife in check. Men could not be held responsible for occasional excesses as long as women kept asking for it.
The institute will also fund a three-year research project designed to demonstrate that domestic violence against men is a form of racism.
Professor Mansfeld was particularly pleased to be able to welcome the defendant in R v R who has agreed to serve as the new institute’s patron. One of the first research projects undertaken by the new institute will revisit R v R and lay the groundwork for a campaign to demand that violent impaling on penises is finally included in the Sexual Offences Act. Mansfeld had originally hoped that the well known and outspoken feminist Jacob Rees-Mogg might accept the invitation to serve as the institute’s patron but Rees-Mogg was forced to retract his offer after he got into trouble with his wife.
The institute will also fund a three-year research project designed to demonstrate that domestic violence against men is a form of racism and only began to occur when women needed to develop a concept suited to legitimize the slave trade. Finally, a postdoctoral fellowship has been advertised for a scholar who will be tasked with explaining why Jewish lesbians are more violent towards their husbands and male domestic partners than non-Jewish lesbians.
Bridging the Chasm at my own Peril 