Am I a True Leftist? The Ultimate Quiz

This quiz will finally put an end to all those sleepless nights you spend searching your conscience, unsure whether you really are a reliable and loyal leftist. Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? If you agree with at least five statements in each category you can breathe a sigh of relief: you definitely have the makings of a serious leftist. If not, you are Tory scum, and the reeducation camp awaits.

Category A

The masses are always good, no matter the crimes they perpetrate. Governments are always bad, no matter the good they do.

All so-called terrorists are freedom fighters.

The security forces of all so-called democracies are terrorists.

Horrendous conduct for the right reasons always trumps benign or indifferent conduct for the wrong reasons.

Inaction is complicity—unless I can’t be bothered or secretly (or not so secretly) sympathize with the perpetrator(s).

I have always believed whatever suits me in any given case yet would never claim—or, indeed, violently refute—in any other case.

Category B

Everything is like Auschwitz—except Auschwitz.

Everything leads to Auschwitz—except antisemitism. Only antisemites would claim otherwise.

It isn’t antisemitism unless/until smoke rises from the chimneys of the crematoria.

Anyone can be the “new Jews”—except the Jews.

If Auschwitz has taught us anything, then that Israel must be wiped off the map.

Jews know best—unless they defend Israel’s right to exist as a Jewish state in secure borders she would realistically be able to defend if need be.

There is no worse kind of antisemitism than Zionism.

It’s only antisemitism if it harms my political cause.

I must ensure I don’t actually know the first thing about the Shoah lest I risk becoming a traitor.

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